


You dont realize how much suicide hurts the people around you until its too late.

by Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, Drugs/alcohol (referenced), F/M, Flashbacks, Grief, If youre thinking about suicide please read this., Low Self Esteem, Nightmares, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide prevention/awareness, This is extremely sad. But its worth your time if youre having these thoughts., self blame, self hatred, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:56:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire/pseuds/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire
Summary: If you're having suicidal thoughts, please read this.If it doesn't help, please go tell someone.This is a fic where Gerard represents everyone around you who loves you, and it explains the affect your death will have on him/them. *This is for boys too. If youre a boy, never be afraid to seek help. Saving yourself makes you brave, never a weakling or a coward.*





	

You've had enough.

You can't take these thoughts anymore.

These feelings...

You made your decision.

_You decided to kill yourself to end your pain._

Only to not think, "suicide doesn't end the pain, it passes it on to someone else."  
*****

**Gerard's POV**

I hadn't noticed until it was too late. I hadn't noticed the marks all up and down (y/n)'s arms and legs. I didn't know (y/n) felt this way. If I did I would have saved them sooner.  
****

I was walking home from the store, excited to see (y/n) even though I just saw them twenty minutes ago. (y/n) is the light of my life. My other half. My reason for smiling. I love (y/n) so much more than every word in the English language could even begin to explain.

But I didn't expect the horror scene I walked into.  
****  
**Your POV**

_The voices won't stop._

_You can't stop crying._

_You're hurting so much_.

Suicide is your escape route. Suicide is the only way out.

*but it isn't. If you see it as an escape, that's when it REALLY becomes something you need to tell a trusted adult/doctor/friend immediately*

You wrote a note.

*now imagine what you'd say in your note for a second. That's what this character writes down*

And you decide on overdosing.

*because it is the least obscene way I can think of. It's still horrible, but its not as bloody or excruciating as many other ways to go. But yes, overdosing hurts. You get cramps, aches, you vomit. Its miserable. Just please go get help instead.*

And you do.

All that can go through your head is your note.

_How worthless you feel._

_How you drag everyone down._

_How much you hate yourself._

_How ugly or fat you think you are._

_How living hurts._

_The possible trauma you went through to push you to this point._

_How you just want to die._

*I guarantee that covers most of your note, because you aren't the only person that feels this way. You aren't alone, no matter how much you think you are. All of these things can be helped with talking/venting to someone or going to therapy. You can save yourself, suicide isn't the way to do it.*

And you feel yourself slowly drift off into a deep and agonizingly painful sleep, not thinking about how this is going to hurt everyone around you.

**Third person POV**

Gerard walks in, _he screams._

_He runs to you._

_He cradles you._

_He cries._

_He tries to save you._

_He fails._

_He calls 911._

_They come._

_They take you away._

_He waits in the ER for hours._

_They tell him the bad news._

_You had succeeded in killing yourself._

_He breaks down._

_He screams more._

_He cries._

He reads your note over and over wondering what he could have done differently to save you.

_Because yes, he blames himself._

*only possibilities here. I'm telling you how horribly your death can tear the lives apart around you.*

Gerard (your mother) breaks down when she hears the horrible news. She screams. She cries. She gets taken up in alcoholism and later dies prematurely from liver failure because her baby girl/boy was dead.

Gerard (your father) is only able to stare forward with tears pouring down his face at your funeral, not able to remove the image of your lifeless body reflecting in his eyes. He takes up a hard drug to numb the pain. He too dies prematurely.

Gerard (your baby sister/brother) is too young to understand now. But ends up getting caught up in self harm and depression because they blame themselves for your death.

Gerard (your big sister/brother) also blames themselves for being too hard on you, and is never able to live normally again. They have to go to a mental facility for a breakdown they had when it all became too much.

Gerard (your classmates) crash and burn. They think they teased you too much or said something wrong, they can never live a day without feeling guilty for not helping you.

Gerard (your best friend) is later hospitalized for trying to join you. They hated them self for not being able to save you, they live the rest of their lives in guilt and pain.

And lastly, (Gerard)  _Your lover._

They drive to your house and rip your clothes from your drawers and cry and scream as they desperately try to breathe in what's left of you.

Your parents divorce a few years before they pass from their addictions.

Your favorite teacher retires.

Your best friend tries to join you again, and this time, _succeeds_.

Your younger siblings live a life of anger and depression, constantly having flashbacks and sobbing when they realize there's no going back.

Your older siblings grow up in a life of guilt and depression because they still can't help but blame themselves.

Your lover lives years of loneliness because they can't deal with the pain of being abandoned again. They sob themselves to sleep every night, having constant nightmares reliving the descovery of your body. They can't take it anymore. So they off themselves, too.

Notice how everyone blames themselves.

Everyone has read your note a million times.

They keep it at heart.

_You aren't worthless, you're worth everything._

_You're beautiful, handsome, smart, funny, and amazing to be around._

_You don't drag them down, you lifted them when they needed it the most._

_They love you, even when you couldn't love yourself._  
****

Its been years.

_No one has gotten over you._

Everyone still cares. Everyone misses you.

Everyone wishes they noticed sooner and saved you from yourself.

From depression.

Hatred.

Voices.

Loneliness.

Anger.

 ** _Suicide_**.

**Author's Note:**

> Please call 1-800-273-8255 if this hasn't convinced you that suicide is never the answer.


End file.
